Playing with Dad's Laptop

So, we finally got my Dad's laptop back from Acer technical support. And FINALLY, it works. Hardware. I told them that from the get go, but did they listen to me? noooooo...... But I'm not bitter.

So, now, because my Dad wants to play with Vista (why anyone would want to do that is beyond me, but it gives me more opportunity to gripe about it), I get to tweak it. So, just a few tweaks I've made so far:

**WARNING** I am editing the registry (regedit, if you don't know) which I don't recommend unless you know what you're doing. These are just changes I've made to make my Dad's life easier.

Disable the Remote Desktop Warning when connecting to older versions of Windows (so annoying when Dad logs into his work computer):

HKEY_CURRENT_USER/Software/Microsoft/Terminal Server Client
Create DWORD "AuthenticationLevelOverride" and set to 0

Disable those annoying Ballon Tips that pop up:

HKEY_CURRENT_USER/Software/Microsoft/Windows/CurrentVersion/Explorer
Create DWORD "EnableBalloonTips" and set to 0

Worth a few laughs

You have to watch the car at the very end.......It has that "Oh crap!" feel to it. lol

Blah Day

Ugh....I hate Mondays. My friend, Altz, last night told me "Just remember! While you're at work tomorrow............I'll be playing Everquest." Butthead.... What I'd give just to be home right now, drowning my pain and sorrows in orc and goblin blood. Lol.

I stayed up too late talking with him last night. I've been in a mostly good mood all weekend, but now, I dunno. Last night I was a wreck. Depressed and crying, and poor Altz having to listen to me. He's a good friend, but he can be a real butthead sometimes. He just made a choice recently about his character in EQ2 I don't like. It means he won't be able to play with me as much, and even though it feels selfish to want him to stay and play with me, he wasn't happy. But with him gone, now I'm not happy....sigh. I'm losing my friends there one by one. And I'm afraid......afraid he's going to be next.

My love of the game makes little sense to most other people. I've had my emotional highs and lows with that game. At least there, I feel alive. I'm not limited. I can run, I can keep up with my friends. I can still do things with them and I don't have to leave early because I'm in pain, more often than not. FM does not limit me as much there like it does in real life. I have good friends there who care about me. I have enemies who hate my guts. And I still feel.

But I'm regretting now that I stayed up as long as I did. And that I spent all night crying. He told me we'd talk on msn today, but we haven't......and that scares the crap out of me. The day is just beginning though, so I'm hoping when he does get back online, he will actually talk to me.

When you see me

A friend of mine on my Fibromyalgia Support Forum posted this in her journal. I had to share it. This is exactly how I feel. This is what Fibromyalgia is like.

When you see me on a "good day"
I may look as if nothing’s wrong,
But I, myself, am very aware
That the energy won’t last long.

You may think that I am lazy,
Or I just don’t like to try,
Or maybe I am just depressed,
When sometimes you see me cry.

You may not understand me,
It’s not easy to explain,
The struggles that I so often endure,
As I live each day in pain.

People may offer their opinions,
Thinking that I just need some advice,
Yet they don’t really comprehend,
Although they are trying to be nice.

What for some may be so easy,
Is almost impossible to me,
But because I may look healthy,
Many around me fail to see.

Perhaps it seems that I’m sloppy,
If I would only take more pride,
It’s sad that many don’t stop to see,
The person who is inside.

Planning things is so hard to do,
With each day uncertain fate,
The best that I can do is try,
And oftentimes I have to wait.

Life can be so stressful,
Even when you have your health,
Many people cannot even imagine,
Giving up their dreams and wealth.

While some people may worry,
How to fit everything into each day,
Others of us must struggle,
To even find a way.

So often misunderstood,
Some say that is must be "in my head,"
Yet there are days that it takes all I have
To even get out of bed.

You’d think that if one is weary,
Then why not just take a nap,
But the fatigue at times is so severe,
That nothing seems to help.

If exercise were the answer,
I would just move into a gym,
But intolerance and unbearable pain
Makes it difficult to stay trim.

That’s alright just take a pill--
Medications can always do some good,
However, sometimes the effects are far worse,
Oh, but how wonderful it would be if I could!

Living each day fighting defeat,
Knowing that you can’t give up and quit,
Even though it gets hard to do,
Find ways of accepting it.

I guess it would be a better thing,
If there were a little more support,
Everyone longs for acceptance and love,
As they keep their life in sort.

If I could make the world aware,
Help them to see things in a new light,
Be careful on what they base their view,
That they may receive a new insight.

Then maybe when someone else comes along,
Who is going through something unknown,
They may not feel so hopeless and scared,
And will know that they’re not alone.

Whether it be a terminal thing,
Or something chronic with no known cure,
There are many processes that will be faced
In this we can rest assured.

The grieving over loss is hard,
Whatever the loss may be.
What may be just a bump for you,
Could seem like a mountain to me.

Everyone responds so differently,
We all have our own ways to cope,
But the one thing that we must never do,
Is believe that there’s no hope.

For I faithfully trust in God above,
And no matter what the future may bring,
I know that He is holding my hand,
And He’s in control of EVERYTHING.

by Mary Hastings

written May 2003

Can't Believe I'm Actually Awake

You know, of all the things I deal with with my FMS, I hate the sleepless nights the most. I don't feel I get enough rest as it is, and then my body decides sleep just isn't going to happen. Last night, I took all my meds, NyQuil for a cold I'm fighting off, and went upstairs to bed. For an hour and a half, I tossed and turned. I just couldn't seem to get comfortable. Just when I thought I'd fall asleep, the pain started shooting through my arms (of all the places). I tried adjusting the pillow I usually hold (to support my arms.....noticed it usually helps with the pain). No matter what I did, I couldn't get to sleep. So, I gave up and went downstairs to do some work on my computer. At 5:00, I finally felt like I could actually sleep. I went back upstairs and fell sleepily into bed. 3 hours to go until my alarm clock goes off to wake me for work. Fortunately I did fall asleep almost immediately. 9:00 (yes, I slept through the alarm for an hour) I got up, got ready and headed into work. Fortunately, I work for my Dad, and he's understanding of FMS and what it does to me. He doesn't mind if I'm late as long as I get my work done.

So here I am, supposedly working (well, waiting on help to work on computers. Not able to lift them up to the desk like I used to.....at least not this week), and yet wide awake. Apparently, the sleep I got, if short, was restful. Thank God for small favors!

The Most Fun I've Had At Work In A While!!!

Who knew shredding CDs could be so much fun???

My project for the last couple weeks at work has been to sort through a bunch of old computer parts recovered from storage. In and amongst all of that .... crap ... was a bunch of software, disks with old files, etc. Because of the nature of the business and the content on the cds, I had to shred them. We've got a mondo shredder that can apparently handle CDs. Oh, it was so much fun!! when ever it at one up, the noise it made was beautiful...like the sound effects on an old 8-bit video game. 1UP!!!

LOL. I sacrificed the CD Lamp I was planning to make for this. It was SOOO worth it. One of these days, I'll still make the lamp, but I'll just buy a spindle of blank CDs. I know where to get them cheap. hee hee

Bored out of my mind

Isn't that the reason most blogs are started? Someone at some point got bored and said "Hey! I think I'll put my every thought up on the internet for the world to see!" Well, I had that same thought today....and hopefully I don't get myself in trouble. I have so many ideas, so many things to blog about, that I may find myself unable to do anything but blog.......ok...I'm exaggerating, but I do foresee several blogs a day. I have so much to blog about.

First things first, as a Christian and a thinker, I'm bound to have great epiphanies, stories about my own walk with God, and words of encouragement. There is a story I wrote a while back that I will have to dig up and post on here that I found most encouraging to me with what I was dealing with at that time.

I am a part-time Web Designer and Computer Technician. I love working with computers, software, hardware.........If it has a circuit, give it to me. I am the Queen Geek. Gadgets are my drug of choice. You should see the high I get when I get a new toy. I can find anything online.....a lint trap for the dryer, carriage belt for a plotter (actual examples found and ordered in 15 minutes flat!)......I have become known in my family as the Google Queen (not to be confused with the borg queen, although, now that I think about it, I can't say we're that different, really).

I was also recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. FMS is basically a condition where you have chronic pain in your muscles and joints. I've read that it may be a neurological condition where the brain reacts to stimuli differently than someone who doesn't have FMS. It is still very much a mystery and is being researched more thoroughly. There is still much to be learned about it. I've considered becoming involved in a study of Fibromyalgia, but I haven't decided yet....

And last but not least, I'm an Everquest 2 addict. Well, perhaps addict is too strong a word, but I'm pretty close. I love playing the game and the people I play with. I've made great friends there, a few enemies, and plenty of memories. I lead a guild on the Nagafen server called From The Ashes. Its a Freeport Guild (Evil-aligned) and we've grown so much in the last few months. I love leading a guild there and couldn't imagine playing without that. It's very much like running a business....Lots of work, lots of frustrations at times, but oh so rewarding!! I love seeing where it goes. I'm hoping to get my Dad to join me. hee hee hee.