Can't afford it.........

Of all the things that gets me worked up, money is the worst. Ever since about June, I've had the hardest time working enough to make ends meet. I've managed to make it up to almost 30 hours a week, but it's still difficult. On top of paying for the basic necessities, I've got my Lyrica, Ambien, Vicodin just to deal with the FMS, and If I get sick, that's more meds, in addition to the over the counter junk I have to buy.......It just piles up. This last week I went to the pharmacy to get my prescriptions, only to find that 2 of them couldn't be found in generic and cost $80 each. Needless to say, I left without those. I dread when I have to fill my Lyrica again, because that's another $100 just for the deductable. After that, I'll pay $30 per refill, but still.......

So, the last time I went to the doctor, I talked to him about seeing a chiro. He told me he thought it might help and was all for it. He gave me the name of his chiro and I scheduled an appointment for today. What I neglected to find out was that apparently, because I'm on an HMO, they don't cover chiro, at least not on my plan. The ladies were going to double check for me, and I thought, "well, how much could it be?" they said it would eb a cash plan at a reduced rate. After an hour of tests and standing and moving and more testing, xrays, and computer scans, they said I would go back tomorrow for the results and my chiro plan. Ok, fine. I can live with that. I'll get my adjustment tomorrow, and everythin will be hunky dory.

I get to the counter to pay.........$220!!!!! I broke down. I don't have $220 in my account right now, how the heck am I suposed to pay that??? One of the ladies took me back to her office. we talked about it. She's going to check with my ins and see if they will cover any of it. We might have to get my dr to write a referal for it. I know he would. He'll do most anything if it means less pain for me. but, even then, I don't know if this is going to be manageable for me. I have spent soooooo much money on my health. $200 colonoscopy, meds, dr's visits. I just can't afford this.

I thought health insurance was supposed to make it possible for you to actually be healthy. I hate to be so negative......Things have been getting better, slowly, but everytime I have a set back like this, I feel more like living with FMS is a death sentence. If it doesn't kill me, the going broke will. my only saving grace is that I live with my Grandma and she will forgive me if I miss rent for a couple months.

I'm sorry. It's just one of those days, but I just can't comprehend why it's so (insert adjective of choice here) expensive just to be well. It's hardest on those of us who need it most.......