Sore all over

I don't know what I did, but I feel like I just finished working out. My abs, my back, arms, legs, everything hurts. I can't explain it. I'm just achey........

In other news, Thanksgiving was pretty fun. Justin actually showed up, which was good. I was afraid he'd decide not to spend it with the family because he and Mom are at odds. We ended up celebrating Josiah's birthday on Friday night. I have a few good pictures I will try to upload later. He blew out his own candle. it was so cute.

Despite having fun with the family this weekend, I'm finding myself struggling with the holidays. This is the worst time of the year to be alone. In some ways I blame myself. I don't get out much. Granted, the Fibro is the main cause of it, but I can't help but blame myself for not getting out more. If I got out and did more, maybe i wouldn't be so alone. I become more convinced the person I meet will be online, but there are so many unsavory characters online........I talked with a guy the other night and he's so obviously not good for me. He doesn't get it. It's so hard to explain my standards, my beliefs without seeming like an elitist. As much as I tried explaining it to him, he doesn't understand. I won't get involved in a relationship that cannot work. If our beliefs are so vastly different, how can it ever work? It wouldn't be so bad if he just accepted that and moved on, but he keeps talking as if he can win me over.

I talked with a friend of mine last night about this. How I'd been down that road before. How I'd been tempted to lose my virginity to that boy. He asked me if I was still a virgin and I told him I was. He told me that was admirable, which kinda shocked me. But it made me realize something else. I want a man who thinks that's admirable, not who's going to try to convince me to waver there. This guy keeps talking about how he could show me a good time and his girlfriends in the past only seemed to like him for how he was in bed. I'm not interested in that.

I have a feeling this will end in conflict. If only I fould find someone who would be exactly what I need him to be. Maybe I'm asking too much.